The Epic Poopie

Be forewarned, this is not a good story for the faint of heart, and is not suitable for small children.  Parental discretion is advised.

This afternoon, as I like to do, I put Soren in his garage sale bouncy seat, set it to vibrate, and left him happily swatting at toys in the living room while I attempted to get some sewing done.

Soren has not pooped much in three days.  One or two little ones but nothing much.  As a result, I was pleased to hear that "end of the ketchup bottle" sound from the living room that signifies a deposit has been made.  As I expected as I peeked into the living room, Soren looked like he was feeling much better.  I left him for a minute or two while I finished ironing a seam, thinking how he often makes deposits in batches of two's and three's.  Michael came in, said hi to the baby and I, and went into the back room to do some work.

When I got around to unplugging the iron and checking on the baby, what a sight I did find!

Soren had definitely pooped.  The poop, having been disposed of with some great force, and being of considerable quantity, had been propelled, not just through the elastic legs of his diapers, but also up the back, and up the front of his diaper, coating his entire lower body in poop.  The quantity of poop was so considerable that the super-absorbent futuristic technology diaper he was wearing simply could not absorb it all, and so Soren found himself splashing around in his bouncy seat in about 2" of poopie puddle.

I arrived on the scene to discover that in the 60 seconds after Michael greeted our son (having missed the poop lake), Soren had in fact dipped his hands and cute little sock-covered feet into the mess as if it were finger paint.  Two month old Soren from there, proceeded to make cute little hand and foot poop prints on the seat, the blanket he was laying on, his onesie, and of course his face.

Soren sat, grinning, relieved and comfortable in his little throne, and was none too pleased with me when I decided it wouldn't do to let him stay in his present state.  Two baths and a scrubbing of his sink top bathtub later, I had a very angry infant on my hands, three dirty wash cloths, one filthy onesie, one poop saturated blanket, and of course, what was left of the diaper (The question is, how do you fold one so fargone?  I failed terribly.).

So that is the tale of the epic poopie.  I hope to never see one like it again.  I remain mildly traumatized.  I seriously considered photographing the boy in his mess, but decided it wouldn't be tasteful, knowing I wouldn't be able refrain from putting them on the internet.  Dear reader, be grateful.  Be very grateful.  It wasn't pretty.

Soren is sitting in my lap as I type this, and beginning to end, he has managed to urp on himself three times, and twice on me.  I need to go get a bib.

Soren's Second Monthday

I can't believe two months ago today little Soren joined us. I feel totally overwhelmed by the beautiful gift of his life. Time truly flies!

So, Soren, after two months of life on this earth, you have won my heart (and the hearts of, well, pretty much everyone). You're mastering the art of smiling. You make eye contact, your eyes twinkle, your ears perk up a quarter of an inch, and you break into a huge, toothless, open-mouthed grin.

You're getting so big! Every time I see you in someone else's arms, it occurs to me how huge you are! Clothes that were huge at the beginning of February, you are now stretching out of. Snaps stretch apart, and your narrow shoulders pop out of the top of short onesies. I've started putting you in even 6-9 months sized onesies because you're so long. And you've finally started to put a little fat on! Your chin has a fold, your thighs have some chub, and you're adorable.

Your eyes look like they're going to stay blue like mine, but you still look almost just like your dad in every way. I couldn't be more thrilled.

And oh boy, are you strong! Your dad walked at 9 months, and it looks like you might be on the move pretty soon, too. There's no rush, though! Take your time! You are already holding yourself up pretty well, pushing with your arms and legs. When you're mad or in pain, you make your whole body stiff as a board and yell. You're practically made of stone.

You have also started to reach for things. I catch you in your little play yard (from Ashley and Emily), batting at toys and even kicking them. Your vision has improved so much! I see you gazing at things near and far, studying them. Your biggest attraction is ceiling fans though. If you're fussy, sometimes all one has to do is reposition you so you can stare up at the spinning blades, and you stare at them in perfect contentment.

And you should know you have an amazing daddy! He changes your diapers and plays with you. Best of all, he gives you the sweetest cuddles and hugs. I love seeing him hold you close, wrapping his arms around you, and kissing you gently on the cheek. You are so very loved.

Your grandparents adore you, too. They cuddle you, play with you, console you, and adore you. I have never known a luckier baby than you. (Not to mention your sweet aunts and uncles!!! You might get to meet Aunt Hannah, Uncle James and your cousin Helen this next month!)

Most of all, this month, I love the way you stare back at me when I stare at you. You moved me to tears a few days ago. I looked at you, and you looked at me, and we just loved each other for a few minutes. You broke the gaze when you broke into the most precious, gleeful smile. And you know what it made me think of? How I hope you love Jesus that same way someday - that you would just enjoy his presence and ultimately, find pure joy in it.

So, here's to your second month on earth, and here's to the promise of your third. I know it's going to be epic, and am so grateful to God that I get to spend it with you and your awesome daddy.

Happy First Monthday, Soren!

You are one month old today, baby!  Here are some things I love about you already.

I love the way you talk to me instead of crying in the wee hours of the morning when you're hungry.

I love your many dramatic expressions, crossing your eyes, lifting your eyebrows so your forehead wrinkles, or opening your eyes super wide in amazement.  I love the way you move your mouth, like you're licking a popsicle, or impersonating a frog.

I love the way you only want to cuddle all the time (but my sewing machine is jealous).  I love the way you'll cry until I pick you up and soak in contentment.  It hurts so much to leave you alone during naptime.

I love the way you stare into your daddy's face while he's holding you, and the way you have already learned not to cry when I change you or bathe you (until I take you out of the water, you're not so into the cold).

I especially love how strong you are already! You're lifting your head up and holding it steady.  Your little legs have a powerful kick and your little hands are like tiny vices.  When you hold my fingers and I pull up, you can support almost half of your body weight.

I love your tiny, long thin fingers and the way they are always moving, bending, reaching, grabbing and touching.  I love when you lock them together as if in prayer, and the way you thrust them into the air in your sleep.

Most of all, I love that I get to keep watching you grow and learn and share with you all the wonder of the world that God made for you to grow up in.

Happy first monthday, Soren!

Anecdotes from Soren's first month

Well, Soren Paul has had a very exciting first month of life!  He's met four of his Great Grandparents.  He's had an overnighter at Grandma and Grandpa Hines' house.  He was in a car accident, ate out at a restaurant (well, I ate).

I'm loving my little boy so much.

He is alarmingly strong, already holding his head up and still, gazing around at things and making eye contact with people.  His little eyes are still blue, and I'm hoping they stay that way.  His hair is coming in longer and thicker, and is still dark brown.  He's getting bigger and longer, filling out his newborn onesies longways, but they still hang off his skinny body on the sides.

He loves to stick his fingers behind his pacifier and fling it dramatically out of his mouth.  He gets pretty good distance with it, but then wants it back.  It's not a game yet, but will be in the not too distant future.  (He'll discover his Riger mommy always wins.)

His hands and arms are always outstretched.  I love it when he holds my finger with both hands at once.  Sometimes his tiny fingers interlock as if in prayer, and it makes my heart melt.

He sleeps at night very well, but is attached to people during the day and loves to be held and cuddled.  Not a big fan of being put down for naps.  Also not a big fan of being woken to have a diaper change.  Apparently the cold wipes are a little alarming after an afternoon catnap.

Bathtime?  Right now, we're not sure about it.  He dislikes being submerged in warm water, but dislikes being removed from the warm water even more.  Poor boy lives with polar bear parents who keep the house a little chilly!

Okay, to avoid rambling too much about my boy, I'll just put up some pics.  Soren can't wait for his cousin to be born any day now, too!

Soren's First Car Accident!

The whole ordeal started when I went to JoAnn Fabrics to exchange a pattern, got scammed by a clerk, who offered to give me $2 for a $12 pattern that another clerk promised full exchange value for.  When I was unable to produce a driver's license, I'm pretty sure she put a hex on me.

"What if you get pulled over?", she asked.

"I don't get pulled over.  I have an infant, I don't speed, and I'm a very safe driver," I replied.

"Well,  you never know," she countered.  "They perform random stops sometimes, and you could get arrested."

I shrugged it off, went to pick up my brother for a coffee date on his last day in town.  We grabbed coffee, went to the grocery store to pick up cheese for some Mac.  I was a half an hour late for our scheduled day feedings.  Soren is a sleepyhead and won't wake himself up to eat.  I have to wake him.  Almost every time.

We pulled out of the parking lot, into the Northbound lane at Vanderbilt and Airport, when I heard fire sirens behind me.  As a good, law abiding citizen, I pulled as far off the road as I could, into the shoulder.  Letting the emergency vehicles pass I merged back into traffic, and proceeded through the green light at the intersection.  Just then, a squad car with lights blazing, appeared on the right from Vanderbilt Beach.  Once again, as a good law abiding citizen, I quickly stopped to allow the car to proceed.

The van behind me didn't.

Soren let out a brief yelp, fussed for a second, and then there was the most petrifying silence.  I had visions of my fourteen day old infant bleeding to death in his lime green Chicco car seat.  I panicked.  My level headed brother declared boldly, "Sarah, you have to get out of the intersection."

Pulling forward, I ran out of my car, crying and shaking, opened the car door, to find Soren sound asleep in his car seat.  My son had slept through a car accident.

My trunk is about a foot smaller than it was before.  The car seat in the trunk is... nonfunctional?  

The poor guy who hit me was totally panicked.  His eight-month pregnant wife arrived on the scene.  I think he was having visions of his adorable Cuban wife and there two week old son on the side of the road.  They were as sweet as can be.

In the pic above, a half an hour after the accident, Soren is still sleeping soundly in his car seat on the side of Airport Road at 4:00 in the afternoon.

So here's what I'm grateful for:

1)  For some strange reason, I put Soren's docking station on the passenger side of the car.  Every time I put him in, I wondered to myself "Why did I do this?  It's such a pain.  I need to move it."   There was no glass on his car seat.  Glass was all over in the car, on the front dash, but none in his little seat.  The impact was much gentler on that side as well.

2)  I got to meat Joe and Lizette.  I hope our paths cross again.

3)  I got an extra half an hour with my brother.

4)  I quickly learned how very much I love my little boy.  I had no idea until I thought he might be hurt - or worse.  I really don't care about the car.  My baby is safe (and my brother - that was cool, too!).

5)  You can't put a price on a safe car seat.  Thanks to the engineers at Chicco for designing such an excellent infant car seat to keep my little boy safe.  

So Michael and I went to look at the car today.  The wreck yard owner said the whole back and will need to be completely rebuilt.  The insurance adjuster still hasn't looked at it, and I suspect he may declare it totalled.  We will see.

And it all started at JoAnn Fabrics, when that woman put a hex on me.